Cookie Magazine and the AOL Body Website conducted a poll of 30,000 mothers to find out just what is going on in their bedrooms and in their minds. The survey, called Sex and the American Mom, asked some interesting questions and got some surprising answers.
Most surprising - at least to me - was the fact that 34 percent of married moms said they had cheated on their spouses after having children. Why all the sneaking around? The answer may lie in another statistic: only 36 percent said they are as attracted to their husbands now as when they first married.
And according to the survey results, even those who haven't cheated are thinking about it. More than half admitted considering an affair since having children. "That's a far cry from just fantasizing about it, which I think is an important distinction," said Pilar Guzman, editor-in-chief of Cookie magazine.
Clearly, most of us are not looking for love outside our marriages. And whatever the reasons for unhappiness in the bedroom, the survey shows that many wives are at least trying to work it out. When asked if they would have sex with their husbands if they weren't in the mood, 69 percent said they would. But 22 percent are thinking about George Clooney while they are doing it.
Take the survey yourself and see how your love life compares.
One-third of married moms have cheated!
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Reader Comments
(Page 1)2. Love? Honor? Faithful? That's like so yesterday... get with the program, Unrealistic Expectations, STDs and Lust... That's where it's at.
It's ok... either God or Mother Nature will kill us all one of these days.
Posted at 7:14PM on May 8th 2008 by Derek
3. Here is what the media will not tell you. Married couples who practice NFP (Natural Family Planning) have a divorce rate of 1% and married couples who use contraceptive methods have a divorce rate of 50%. I challenge everyone to do the research themselves.
Posted at 10:56PM on May 9th 2008 by MyBusiness
4. Here is what the media will not tell you. Married couples who practice NFP (Natural Family Planning) have a divorce rate of 1% and married couples who use contraceptive methods have a divorce rate of 50%. I challenge everyone to do the research themselves.
Posted at 11:56PM on May 9th 2008 by MyBusiness
5. My husband and I have been married for almost 28 years and we have never cheated. We take our vows seriously. Love, honor, etc. is not so yesterday as one person said. I don't find it hard at all to honor my vows. I love my husband more today than the first day we met.
Posted at 10:19PM on May 9th 2008 by Karen
6. People change and sometimes for the worse. Life is too short to be unhappy with someone who is abusive or treats you badly. I believe people should try to work things out but if one doesn't want to cooperate than you have to do what you have to do to make yourself happy
Posted at 12:31PM on May 12th 2008 by jen
7. It is alive & well.
My wife & I will celebrate 44 years this Dec. Could not have been better under any circumstances. Too many people are ready to JUMP with out looking at the consequeces!!
Such a sorry world we have created!!!
Posted at 12:44AM on May 10th 2008 by Bill
8. i did not evern read the article, i just wanted to say that people reaaalllyy need to get over themselves, get some self control, get ovet themselves, and get over themselves.
Posted at 7:38PM on May 16th 2008 by Jeni
9.
We live in an Era of Sensationalism. This has been caused by access to 24/7 news by way of TV and the Internet. Some stations intentionally sensationalize events and these are popular channels. Cable TV has allowed sex to be viewed by people of all ages and that has led to a lowering of the meaningfulness of sex.
This "poll" is a sensationalized poll written right before Mother's Day...not by accident.
TV in general has shifted in the last 30 to 40 years to push the boundaries of promiscuity.Those younger than 35 don't realize this because they didn't know how it used to be.
From day-time talk shows of cheating spouses to night-time cable shows of simulated sex, the new generation is overwhelmed with the idea that committment is a fairy tale and that "my needs are the most important thing" regardless of the consequences.
It only takes a few real stories of failed marriages due to indiscretions of politicians or religious leaders and a "who cares" attitude is locked in.
Men are more sexual and the physical response to sex is more intense, which means when their spouse is not interested or
is discovered cheating then it's a recipe for disaster. Because men see what someone else is getting and think in physical terms what they should be getting. The response is pretty intense.
The lack of loyalty doesn't go unnoticed by our children.
This cycle of "wedding vows are a joke" will keep the attorneys busy for many years.
Posted at 1:29AM on May 10th 2008 by jeremiah
10. This article is one reason why I am having second thoughts about getting married. I have always been one of the "good guys", and trusted every girl I have dated only to get hosed like a 1st floor fire in the end. Women today (I know, it's us guys too) are more unfaithful than ever. And to me, even if a woman fanticizes about another man other than me, it's still cheating, even if it's only a mental thing. If it's in your mind, eventually the person will do it.
Nick
Posted at 1:31AM on May 10th 2008 by GeorgiaDawgs97
11. I remember a party thrown by my wife and I;there were
seven married couples,I had slept with three of the ladies
and was turned down by a fourth.
All the men had one thing in common: Insensitivity in the
sense of unawareness of who they were married to.
Posted at 1:42AM on May 11th 2008 by jerrytree
12. I, just like most of us, have seen the results of broken homes. Children typically spend the rest of their lives affected in some way from not having their mother or father around. The home is a place of security to which, when there is no other place to turn, a child has the security of, "at least I have my family. When most people divorce, there is normally a lot of regret, especially when they see they could have worked it out. Monogamous relationships are not a thing of the past, but a foundational thing that our country needs to get back to. Whether people believe it or not, our homes (family) are the basic building blocks to society. If we don't have that, what do we have?
Posted at 2:55AM on May 10th 2008 by Calvin
13. This is for Heather and Karen, Kudos to both of you. I agree on both points. What happened to the vows we speak at the church, other religious place? Both men and woman take extramarital sex to "no matter of fact" and don't think of the devastation and pain that comes with being unfaithful to either partner. It can finish or damage a marriage that will take years to put back together. I have been married 31 years and never have I thought or fantasized about cheating on my husband. Like Karen we love each other more now than when we married and we respect each other as well. That is one of the things that young couples forget. Marriage changes with the years and the coming of children. You have to be willing to change as well because sex becomes secondary when the little ones are up all night sick or you had to run around all day with them. You have to adapt as well as your partner. Think 3 times before entering into an affair that will only bring hurt and anger to all involved.
Posted at 12:40PM on May 10th 2008 by luz ottens
14. You don't have to speak any vows in a church or make any kind of religious declaration to have a committed relationship. My husband and I have been married 23 years and still adore each other completely and 'God' had nothing to do with our vows. Since some (what's the figure?) 80% of Americans identify as Christians you know that some 80% of those cheating on wives or husbands aren't letting their religion stand in the way of their selfish need for immediate gratification.
Posted at 8:25PM on May 11th 2008 by Lor
15. Way to go, Heather! Agree with you 200 per cent. Try this one all you who are seriously considering an affair. Your wife is here today and may be gone tomorrow. My wife and I were not on the best of terms and then she passed away. Right now I'd do anything to have her back regardless. There was none better.
Posted at 9:15PM on May 11th 2008 by Charles
16. We aae here on this planet for a short time--ejoy--varitity is the spice of life-go for it!!
Posted at 10:06PM on May 11th 2008 by don
17. Wow...first Bush causes 911 so his friends could get rich, then he steers that hurricaine towards the black people so New Orleans would turn republican, then he wrecks that bridge, then he tricks all those people into buying houses that lost value.... Now he is messing up marriages....Geez what will he think of next.....
Posted at 10:46PM on May 11th 2008 by qwertyjim
18. I have been married for almost 26 married for almost 26 years to a liaring and cheating husband. The last affair that I know about is with a 36 years old mentally challenged woman that lived in my home. My husband blames me for all his affairs. I want someone to voice their opion and tell me what u think I should do. I am very unhappy and just feel like I want to die. Thank You
Posted at 10:55PM on May 11th 2008 by Bernice
19. stop preaching you have no idea what drives people to be dishonest natural family planning has nothing to do with anger and pain that drives people down roads they may not cross stop judging it is only for God to look into ones soul
Posted at 11:12PM on May 11th 2008 by mhook
20. Heather, the problem is that women stay hot. I'm not referring to looks, but rather it seems to me married women want to have their cake and eat it too and most of the time they can. It's us men that get comfortable with things and the married woman realizes her man has stopped trying. Most of my friends have gotten comfortable and lazy, you can see their wives are still keeping it together and look forward to getting hit on by other men...
Posted at 11:48PM on May 11th 2008 by Noel
1. It isn't a wonder there is such a high divorce rate. If it isn't one it is the other cheating on their spouse. The problem is, too, that noone seems to think twice about the things that could happen...divorce, STD's, ect. What happened to love, honor, cherish, and BE FAITHFUL!
Posted at 6:30PM on May 8th 2008 by Heather